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Никодим, 1.1.2011 около 5:30. Usually, these posts were very long, and I would work on them for about a week or two. I intend to change this from now on and instead want to focus on writing more posts regularly. There are a couple of reasons for that and all of them have to do with being paralyzed by insecurity. Insecurity has been a general theme in my life which I recently decided to take head-on. It was also the primary reason I stopped writing at the time. I was feeling overwhelmed and was very insecure about myself. This is furthermore why my posts were so long because I was being too perfectionistic about it. At the time that I was posting on my blog, I was sober and talked about my previous relationship with weed. Regrettably, after that summer I completely relapsed into my old habits. Three months after I smoked my first joint that year I was back to smoking daily. Alongside it enforced even deeper feelings of regret, shame, and insecurity. But why was I feeling so insecure in the first place? Looking back at it now, I remember being extremely ambitious at the time. My girlfriend now fiancee and I just got together, and I was ready to start my dream life. At least I thought I was. I never really addressed the problem of insecurity. But it can get difficult if insecurity is so deeply rooted in your survival strategy. You might be wondering what I was so insecure about. At the time it was many things. First of all, I had no idea where my career was going. As a result, I tried extra hard to become a person of significance. So as you can see the problem I was trying to avoid led me to my failures. Fortunately for me though, my girlfriend was very understanding of the situation. She loves me no matter what person I become. Not long ago, I quit weed again and this time I made it a very conscious undertaking. I made sure to have people to talk to and aid me through the entire process. I wrote daily in my diary to make sure I never forget why I quit and which things triggered me to smoke weed. Every time the going got tough I felt overwhelmed and instead of breaking through this resistance I just grabbed the first thing that distracted me from this uneasy feeling. Most of the time, this was weed, but another one of my favorite distraction tools was gaming. Over the years it has come to grow on me that this is indeed the case. I am distracting myself whenever I feel overwhelmed and need to stop doing it and start working on the things that I see myself doing in the future. The problem has been that all of this primarily happens unconsciously. And so without even thinking about it, I would already be smoking a joint or have started up a video game. One of my favorite things to tell myself was that I just genuinely liked doing these things. The underlying frustration that came from that I simply redirected onto other things or people. There was always a way to redirect my frustrations in some way, while in reality I was frustrated with myself for not pushing through the resistance I felt. When I was a teenager I would do the same thing. There are probably hundreds of approaches to fixing this problem. Which in a way further developed the issues I was dealing with. I call this Paralysis By Overanalysis. This is also why being addicted to something is so incredibly dangerous because whatever reasoning I had to engage in the addiction stemmed from some kind of negative emotion. The interaction is always cyclical. In the very same way, the solutions I might find can be cyclical. Anyone outside of the same addiction pattern would simply tell me to quit. And this is the only real solution to any addiction. The result of quitting brought up that negative emotion I had been avoiding for years now, insecurity. Aside from writing about it and putting my insecurities on paper for everyone to read, I meditate on it every morning. I sit down and let myself get into a deep trance state. Then I acknowledge to myself that this is the feeling I want to overcome and that I desire to be free from it. My insecurities do still arise, and I certainly have a long way to go, but working on it actively has unleashed a bunch of energy within me. I can now work on my career without feeling like a failure. Thank you for reading this post, and I hope that you enjoyed reading it. Потом можно ставить по нескольку раз - главное остаться в выигрыше. Orlistat is the day as well for weight loss like celebrity as these. Хорошей знркало является то, что данное 100pudov не является липким, что дает casino отменить свое участие в акции, и продолжить игру на свои средства. 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